Heart Without A Home
by S-Rok
Summary: Will Syd really kill herself?


Heart Without A Home  
  
He really was amazing, Syd thought looking down at the ice. His skates glided along and formed perfectly straight lines on the fresh ice, as the frost came up and drifted off into the air. He moved so diligently, yet so weightlessly across the ice. He looked up at her and smiled. "5 more minutes, I promise" he said. She smiled assuringly and knew he meant it. For some reason he loved so much to be on the ice with his friends and just waste the time away. Maybe it was the fact he was so protective to her, perhaps it was the event he was always so courageous and so kind, whatever it was, he had stolen her heart away. Michael took off his skates and put his hockey stick away, he walked up and said, "Where do you want to go next?" I wish I could've told you he was talking to me, that somehow we would be dating, but the truth is, he was talking to Alice. Will and I had come along, so the four of us could have a little outing, and spend some time together, being very careful of course, that certain people wouldn't see us or know this ever happened. "How about Francie's place?" I suggested. "That's a good idea, Rita" Alice replied. Will and I got into my car and drove to the restaurant. We all sat down at a table. Just then Fran came over, "Hey Will, hi Syd!" Alice glanced at me. "Syd," she said, "I thought your name was Rita." "What are you talking about? her name is Sydney" Fran stated matter-of- factly. "Okay, I said, Listen I--" "I lied to you, Alice" Vaughn cut me off. "What?" "You see, I, um..It's hard to explain..." "You're dating her, aren't you?" "No, absolutely not, Alice I would never-" "Well, you certainly lied to me, you're always talking about her, I knew it, I'm going home, don't call me." Alice left the table and Will walked over to explain to Francie. Vaughn looked at me, I turned away. The moment was so awkward. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest, it was so loud it sounded like cannons going off, I was trying to decide if Vaughn could hear it or not, when Vaughn took my hand, he was shaking. "It's all my fault," I blurted out. he shook his head. " No it's not, Syd, listen, Alice said I am always talking about you_" "I really should get going, " I said. "Syd, I want you to know something, whenever you feel like you're a heart without a home, or like you're stranded on the shore, I'll be there for you. I talk to Alice, she'll come around." "Goodnight," I whispered. "See ya tomorrow." That night I didn't sleep too well. The next day at work I found a note on my desk that said this. Syd, If you feel lonely, just remember these three numbers, and you'll know I always care about you. 1-4-3. Vaughn I stared at the note, 1-4-3, that didn't make any sense. I asked people all day, and nobody knew what it meant. That night when I got home from work, Francie was sitting on the couch. "Hey, do you know what 1-4-3 means?" "Yeah, my dad used to always leave me messages with that. It means I love you. 1 for the I , since there is one letter in 1. 4 for the love, because there are four letters in love, and 3 for the you, because there are three letters in you. Who told you that?" "Just a friend," I replied. Since that day Vaughn and I began to write eachother notes for a week like little school kids. At the end of each note we wrote 1,4,3. Then we stopped a week later, but none of us forgot about it. About 5 years later one night, after Vaughn had moved, I had come home from a late CIA meeting and was really tired. Just as I got into bed the phone ring. I will never forget what the voice on the other end said, to this day, I don't even know who it was, all I remember was that they said. "Vaughn was shot and killed serving his country." I hung up the phone, and cried myself to sleep. That was the worst week of my life, everything was going so wrong, and it seemed like my whole world was falling apart. Then one night, lying awake in bed I started to think about what Vaughn had said, that he would be my heart's home. That night I prayed to god, I said, dear god, I miss Vaughn so much, and I just wish he knew how much I loved him, I never actually got to tell him I loved him, if you could just somehow, anyway, give me a sign. Some sort of sign, anything, that he knows how much I love him, please, anything... I waited for a long time, but when nothing happened I decided! d he would never know the truth. I cried for so long. Then I decided something. I had been so depressed, I could easily end my life now. I went out onto the balcony of my apartment. It was 4 stories up. I could hear the traffic below me in the busy city of Los Angeles. The night air was perfect for September. I got up on the edge and closed my eyes. With the wind blowing in my hair, I cried a single tear. My knees were shaking all over, and I was just about to jump. I opened my eyes. There, 15 feet away from me was a clock and in bright red was the time, 1:43. I stood there in disbelief, and realized god had answered my prayer. I turned around and went back inside. As I slid back into my bed, still shaking, I heard Vaughn's voice in my head, "Whenever you feel like you're a heart without a home, and like you're stranded on the shore, I'll be there for you. Just remember these three numbers 1-4-3, and you'll know I always care about you. And he did. I would have ended my life t! hat night, but I saw 1:43 on that clock. Vaughn loved me and he always had. He truly was my guardian angel.  
  
Disclaimer: I used alias characters, lyrics from Nick Carters song, and 143 from a story I once read that had the meaning of 1-4-3 in it. 


End file.
